Don't Drive Thoughtless in South Carolina!

Rachelle and I took the kids camping at Hunting Island, SC last week. It was just an overnight trip but we had a ton of fun and Hunting Island is beautiful (pictures from the trip will be forthcoming). On the way home I was stopped by a police officer in a tiny town called Ehrhardt, SC. The guy didn't even look like a cop. He was wearing a bleach stained polo shirt with an embroidered badge on it. He said that I was speeding, which I truly wasn't (Rachelle will vouch for me, and she would blow the whistle if I was lying). What happened next can only properly be explained by simply recounting the conversation:

Police Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over sir?

Me: No sir.

Police Officer: You were just doing 47 in a 30 and 70 in a 55.

Me: I was just looking at my speedometer before you pulled me over sir and it was only reading 58.

Police Officer: Well then you need to get a new speedometer.

Me: Ok.

Police Officer: May I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?

At this point I hand him what he needs and he goes back to his cruiser to write the ticket. Rachelle and I are livid because we know that we weren't speeding and that he is just picking on us because we are from out of state. We decide that we will ask to see his radar when he gets back with the ticket.

Police Officer: Here is your ticket sir.

Me: Ok. May I please have a look at your radar sir?

Police Officer: (Surprised and clearly very annoyed) Sure.

(He goes to the cruiser and brings back the radar gun.)

Police Officer: Here you go. It was callibrated last month.

Me: The gun is blank sir. Do you have my speed punched into the memory?

Police Officer: (Laughing sarcastically now) That is not how it works. I'll tell you what I am going to do. I wrote you a no point ticket. But now I am going to head back and write you an even bigger ticket.

Me: Ok.

He heads back to his cruiser with my license and I watch him in my rear view mirror. He stands outside his cruiser for about 20 seconds and then heads back to our car. I look over at Rachelle and tell her he isn't doing anything.

Police Officer: (Very angry now) Do you know that in South Carolina you can be put in jail for speeding?

Me: Ok.

Police Officer: (Almost yelling now) I got you doing 47 in a 30 and then 70 in a 55 and that is why you are getting this ticket!

Me: So you got me on radar doing 70 as well? (I was wondering if his ghetto cruiser had some sort of new warp speed function I have never heard of that allowed him to get ahead of me again and clock me twice.)

Police Officer: (Still near a yell) No, I got you doing 47 on radar and then I got you doing 70 by pacing you.

Me: (Now I know that he is making this stuff up as he goes along) Yes sir, when you say that you were pacing me how does that work?

Police Officer: (Talking to Rachelle now) Ma'm do you have your license with you?

Rachelle: I think so. Why do you need to see my license?

Police Officer: Because I can't leave you and the kids on the side of the road.

Rachelle: I don't understand.

Police Officer: Because he is coming with me!

Me: You're arresting me?!?!

Police Officer: Yep!

Me: On what charge?!?!

Police Officer: Speeding.

Me: Sir, I am simply trying to get all of the circumstances regarding this ticket. That is all.

Police Officer: And the time to argue a ticket is in court.

Me: I am not trying to argue. I am just trying to get all of the facts concerning this ticket.

Police Officer: What is your job?!?!

Me: (Confused what this question has to do with the price of rice in China) I just got out of the military. We are moving soon.

Police Officer: What branch of the military? (Still yelling)

Me: The Air Force

Police Officer: What was your rank? (Still yelling)

Me: (Still confused and getting very annoyed) E-4.

Police Officer: Well I was in the Army!

Me: Ok?

Police Officer: I am just trying to do my job and the time to argue a ticket is in court!

Me: I respect your job sir. I am not trying to argue. I am just trying to get all of the facts regarding my ticket.

Police Officer: (Hands me the original ticket) I suggest you move along now!

So I drive away, confused and really angry. As we are driving Rachelle looks at the ticket and sure enough, it is not even a speeding ticket. The guy was flat out lying and never had us on speeding. He was just trying to get some money for his podunk town. The violation was honestly "Thoughtless". I asked my buddy who is a lawyer if he has ever heard of this law in South Carolina. He spent about 30 minutes searching for it and he couldn't find anything. He said it is probably some municipal ordinance, and that South Carolina is seriously the most backwards state in the country when it comes to law enforcement. On top of all of it the fine is $230! I was fined $230 for driving "thoughtless". Awesome! So the moral of the story is not to drive thoughtless in South Carolina!